This man, my father


Cradling

Into this world, this wordly, gentle, sighing the breeze
quiet underbelly, wistful rock, those ages gently
sighing, the things that came, to you in time, your time,
your sighing gentle the breeze, the things you saw, your time.

Grown young

soft, eastern shore, your south end woes in
desperate humility bound
to each lutheran sin begotten
hardship son, young innocent of
blame, sensed overmuch, shame
punished pain cathólic
sumption, suffering original
pre-emptive, fords deserved those
rickets unemployment scoured,

baking bricks back broken search
for food, first rate, second hand
burn long in honest mother's love
cloyed open, radio hamming youth
caught, short, researching pier, burnt
radar beaming air-force technicalities
ballistics, bodies warm, unprone unsterilised
unkempt un-uniform that fuselage of
friends, nursed tender sisterhood.


that courtship brief and irish rationed honey-
moon-glanced love unwanted spermicidal
giant's cause, way to leave us silent
secret acts exerted, firm but gentle
hand canadian wastes of life humendous
human probability in winter long
and harsh, you saw, you heard tremendous,
evincing death those heartlessly striven winced,

... and when will I be seven?

trawling now by pontardawe take it,
farming, family ease back to sister trials,
sea fishing time to swim, neath pendine sands
in law, healed healthy, youth, untouched
the catfish, mother wouldn't cook, the photo,
thin path, land allotted under pine branch


Life long

quick! avoid! harsh lights glare down in
blunt aggression, transgression flight to
over usage, milder basing stoke and theale,
through slough and alder maston bracknell speed,
a life of secrets known to all as things that must not
ruin nor tell of life emerging sacrifice, to conflict
nervous breakdown, prewitt nest,
Van Gogh, now there's a painter.

hints of disagreements shown to none
outside the inside friends, exit
weeks, and months and years
on the bike all weathers,
pain-cramped legs sedation,
abnegation, gnostic fears.

Di-day

septumbral loss, rocked disbelief,
penumbral certain unpredictability,
angst driven numbing catatonic rites,
bemoaned, bewailed, phoned histrionic
pledge flailed plausible, sick body lime
stone heavy corpse betwining fear
of fear of hurting, being helped.


Summer indian

eventually sad years on,
sweet proxy to another
ford of chelms, balms,
loved ones escaping
park of bowers, ex-gower,
swimming, cycling lounge
queen's party steps,
the memory gone
to check the database.

Drop heavy

sea of mid glamorgan, now then, sea of swans,
porthcawl and leith, llanelli, southend, baking rochford
home of tenby, pontypwl, cwmbran, to tadley,
grimhurst beckoning gay, that final joseph's house

the word has come that he is gone, in piece,
the one begwnll and black beacon bound to
forged causeways, ere war-time nest of
royal aldershot, shipped west coast farnborough,
scene of childhood shows, old friendships
strangely born, child, don't you know
the rain-consuming griffiths fire?

Log off

rack, ruined, ragged, ricket-forded wreck,
break dryly, spasmed orgiastic spume,
bred briefly brine, hined second class ex-
pectorating dredge-spurned welch in sea,
reject us now, except forlorn acceptance,
love of innocence, lost child returned gay,
lost in tears of tears of needing us so much,
so unconditioned tears of sunken dread.

Another ford, another home

sighing gently went the things you saw
your time wordly, singing gentle the breeze,
quiet underbelly ages, gently, sighing things
that came the word, the word you saw,
your time, your sighing breeze, gently,
gently, one, breeze quiet through llareggub to the rock.

... and what, and what

in peace pre-born,
long coming grown,
you go in peace,
peace that is Charles,
Charles who is love.

 

in memory of June 6, 2002.
September 30, 2002.