The Unconscious Tourist

 

Hey, Gene! Wake up, can't you?

(dozing)What is it now, Darrever?

Something wierd's happened.
We're not in the hotel anymore, and our bodies look ... look ... look foreign ...very strange.

(dozing still)Come on, D. I told you to lay off that hooch last night,didn't I? but you had to go on, go on drinking, I said, but you had to keep on drinking all night, throwing it down yor throat, oh, I know what I'm doing alright, a little local brew straight off the vine of Aaron never hurt anyone, well sure, how many times I heard that?

Shut up Gene and open your goddam eyes, quick. Tell me I'm not dreaming.

OK, yer not dreaming, D. Now let me get some sleep.

Good morning, Arbahar. How are you today? Ready to till the upper field? The plough is reserved for you, and it's all linked up. We thought you might need some help setting it up this morning.

(Opening eyes at last) What's all this? Can't a person get no sleep round here? Hey. You. What you doing in this bed? Where's Darrever? I open my eyes and I'm still dreamin. What you talking about? Who in hell's name are you?

I've been trying to tell you for some time Gene - we're not in the hotel, and even worse, our bodies have completely changed, and now there's this man coming in here trying to get us to do something to a field before it rains.

You've had a heavy week, Arbahar, but we really need you today. We've got to get that field sown before the rains - if they come this year.

Don't know what game you're playing at, but where've you done with my partner? How come you got his voice? You sound just like him, sodden eastentals, can't trust no-one nowhere round here, no-one. Knew I shouldn't have come.

Gene, this is me, and there's something very weird going on here.

This better not be nother of your authentic mother vacation ideas, D. Is that it? We been bundled into a "Real-life-hummdinger-would-you-beleive-it authentic experience" eh? I suppose we's sittin in Washington somewhere, dreamin bout being out here with dem natives, having real-life mother of all experiences, that it?

Don't worry, Arbahar. You have simply been chosen for a new role in life. Look upon it as 'authentic tourism' if you want to - it doesn't matter any way. We've been looking for someone like you and there you were, yesterday.

What you still waffling on about? I'm nauthentic citizen of the country that sends you all your goddam tents and blankets, and the plough you're shacking up there. You better tell me what this is, or you can kiss all that free stuff up your ass. our country won't stand for this here hear? You're causing ninternational incident here, and you know how my country does to these things. Gonna be wham bam thank you maam, and you won't know what hit you, maam. Bloody tour up the upper reaches - just you wait till I get to the Consul - they'll give you some upper reachers all right. (Storms out)

Gene gets hot under the collar sometimes.
Can you tell me though, is this really part
of the tour package? Have they included
kidnapping as part of the 'real' experience?
I hope it doesn't cost extra.

There's nothing to worry about. We've just made some new adjustments to your tour plan. While you were floating in your protective ball yesterday, we switched a few items in the atmosphere, and now here you are, finally one of us- your great chance to really see how we live.

(Gene storms back in) I've had enough of this - I demand my rights. Come on, D, we're off to the Consulate - Don't none of you dare try stop me.

That's right - off you go. When you come back, we'll talk further.

This is all your fault, D. I knew I shouldn't have come on this trip with you.

Oh, Gene, take a break. Don't give me all that stuff again.

Whatever's going on here ...

Whatever it is, it'll work out in time.Maybe it really is part of the experience. You never know. Could be you ticked the "Christmas Carol" option - you weren't wearing your glasses when you filled in the application.It's kinda cute here when you get used to things.

Kinda Kute? We're getting out of here, and when I see that travel agent, I'm going to use her to keep the shredder busy.

p - Ah, Arbahar. Good to see you again. We did the field for you, but we need you to get on with the planting today. You know where everything is.

- Now look here, you. I've been on my feet for two weeks trying to get out of this hellhole, and I've only come back here to get some sort of explanation from you. Where's Gene?

- He's having an authentic experience washing clothes in the river. He's taken to things very well.

- Really? Now tell me
what is going on here?
who are you? What has happened?
how do I finish this tourist trip?
I can tell you I'll be having words
with your ambassador when I get back.

- Well, it's all up to you, Arbahar. Accept your life here, or don't. Anything is OK, and the outcome will be the same. I can't tell you anything, however, until you're ready for it.


Hey, Arbahar. How's it going?

Are you still in rejection? C'mon, it's been two years now. You might as well accept that you're here now, and your identity has changed. Think of Alice in WONDERLAND WITH THE RED Queen - THE MORE YOU CHASE the palace, the more it goes away.

Good one, Arbahar. Country's morals. I'm glad you don't believe these jokes you come up with. Your morals don't suit anyone but yourself. Meanwhile, I'm being treated like a human being at last. It might be tough here, but I am someone now.What I do has an effect on people around me.

Don't be stupid, Arbahar. You've been well and truly forgotten now. Anyway, you haven't disappeared. Those committees of yours were all a waste of time, courrupt senators deciding which corrupt officials to give aid to - choosing only the countries which had rich proponents in the states - lining your own pockets. What sort of work was that?

I said your job was a sham, and you knew it.

Did I say that? Slip of the tongue.

No. If you really want the lowdown, ask Brampurl. I've had enough of your arrogant blustering - running around al the time saying yu're a citizen of the greatest country - get real, Arbahar. You're here now, and you're eating the food of these people. There is work to be done, so if you really want to give aid to these people, get on your hands and knees and help thme now - earn your place in this society. At present it is supporting you while you reject it.


don't call me that, you know who I am.

 

I could never believe how you've changed so quickly, you've really deserted me and our country's morals.

 

that so? well what I used to do was incredibly important for the future of this planet and out way of life, I've got to get back to it.

 

 

what did you say?

NO, before that. Something about me not having disappeared.

Come on, woman - tell me!

Arbaharla! Good to see you. That was a wonderful idea of yours about planting fallow crops to ease the erosion during the rains. It's really made a difference. I think you are really making a difference to your lifestyles.

Thanks, Brampurla. You know I probably wouldn't leave now even if I could. I'm getting used to this life, and it's good to see the results of my labor. This is who I am now, and I'm happy about things as they are. But I'd like some answers now. there's something been nagging at me for the pst ten years, on and off. Gherla mentioned that I hadn't disappered from my previous role. What did she mean?

OK, Maybe this is the time. You've been with us, and you're one of us now. You've used your knowledge to make this a better place to live, and people are growing to like you. OK then. About 30 years ago, a local Suphal found she could exchange consciousnesses with other people. She could take on their lives, and literally swap identities with them. Looking at the poverty and disease and malnutrition around her, she got to thinking - OK, her chosen path was realization of the ultimate truth, but what she were able to alleviate some of the desperation around her? that might even be her path to truth. Anyway, she wrestled with this for some years, and then came to a decision. She started telling her disciples how to exchange consciousnesses.

I'm glad you didn't try this on me before.

Maybe you can see where this is going. Her disciples took on the bodies of peasant farmers, whose consciousnesses moved into the bodies of the disciples in the temple, and were trained by the Suphal. This was all voluntary - anyone who didn't want to join in was allowed to leave and take up his/her original identity. The new disciples learned the secret, and moved into further farmers' bodies, and the circel continued. then we decided to try things out on a different level, and along came you and Gerthla.

You're kidding! you mean my body is walking around Washington with a transcendant inside it now?

Not quite, but the person who is you now is doing great things for foreign aid. He has made a significant number of positive changes to the system. Of course, he's not alone.

I suppose you're going to tell me that you've been sending more people over there?

Of course. We've swapped consciousnesses with most policy makers who have visited this country in the last 10 years. We have to be careful though, since, like yo, they don't like the reality of this lifestyle when they are faced with it.

That's amazing. So you're saying that the world is gradually being taken over by Suphal priests?

Look at it this way - these priests have only one goal - the spiritual improvement of humanity. These are the people who refue to enter heaven until every other soul is ready. They have no earthly desires - they are incorruptible. We have started something that is going ot have immense repurcussions. Governments will naturally think in terms of peace rather than war. In the long term, real aid will come to these regions, and others like them.

Well, I couldn't have taken that when I first came here, but it sounds interesting now. If those people have the freedom to leave or stay when they find themselves in a presiet's body, then that's great. I woldn't mind going for it myself. So you think I cold become one of those priests?

There' nothing to stop you, but you're already doing a great job here. Think it over.
Most recently updated on February 16, 2002