Bald-Headed Men
Christine Lavin, Julie Gold, et al
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ


Hi girls.  You know I've been thinking.  There are some things
about men I really love, but there are some things I don't like at
all.  Do you think we could discuss this ?

I don't like men who exaggerate
     about the places they've been
     about the money they make
I like a man who's honest and true
Who can look you in the eye
When he talks to you
I like men who accept who they are
Not everybody can look like a movie star
If you can follow this thought to it's logical end
You can see why I like bald-headed men
     She said it before
     She'll say it again
I like bald-headed men

Everybody knows it's testosterone
That turns a bushy-haired man
Into a chrome-dome
But testosterone
Is what makes a man a man
The more that he's got
The more that he can
Do the things that make the women go "OY!"
I'll take a bald-headed man
Over a big-haired boy
Big-haired boys make very good friends
But they cannot compare
To bald-headed men
     She said it before
     She'll say it again
I like bald-headed men

Why would you waste your money
Joining that Hair Club for Guys?
     [tell me why, tell me why]
Why would you cover your manly badge of honour
With such a bad disguise?
     [guys, guys, guys]
Why would you blow your money
On Rogaine or Minoxidil
When all it can guarantee
Are years and years of pharmacy bills?

Please don't do it
     Yes, we believe the hair replacement industry for men is like
     the cosmetic industry for women.  A giant black hole that will
     just suck your money away for the rest of your lives
Please don't do it

No matter how you fight it
Time marches on
Some new things appear
Some old things are gone
Let them go, it's a natural thing
Like a leaf off a tree
Like a bird on a wing
Try looking in your mirror
From a whole different place
You're not losing hair
You're gaining face
Be confident, be cool
It won't be long when
You find you are proud
To be one of the bald-headed men
     She said it before
     She'll say it again
I love bald-headed men

John Malkovic
     [love him]
The guy on Star Trek the Next Generation
     [love him]
Michael Jordan
     [love him]
Tom Paxton
     [love him]
Alan Brady
     [love him]
Burt Reynolds
     [love him]
Yule Brenner
     [loved him]
Tele Savalas
     [who loves ya baby]

What do these words and expressions mean?


can look you in the eye                                          

accept who they are                                              

testosterone                                                     

bushy-haired                                                     

chrome-dome                                                      

makes a man a man                                                

take ... over                                                    

manly badge of honour                                            

blow your money                                                  

Rogaine and Minoxidil                                            

black hole                                                       

no matter how                                                    

time marches on                                                  

gaining face